i last spoke with him on the phone on monday. he died on friday.
i did not hug nor kiss him when i first saw him lying there. it just did not seem right because i only said hello pa whenever we came to visit him when he was still alive.
i went and touched his hand though and looked at his sleeping face. this was the first time in a long time i looked at him more than just a few seconds. it was probably the first time ever.
and i wondered, no i asked, in my head. he should be able to hear my thoughts now, right? well, yeah, so i asked him how he felt. how it felt.
leaves are rustling with your hair when you look through the window, vines curl up your back telling you stories of dissipating days and dreams,
you wait for him to say
not to happen
for a kiss that leads to no more
for hands to let go
for words to not be said
for teardrops to fall from the brink of her nose
for the night to end
for boredom and sleep
for every failure to rest and sink in
and never be forgotten
you wait for them to stay
first draft of this poem had been recited here
a killer was following a girl who was walking to her apartment.
the apartment was on the second floor.
the girl headed to the stairs.
the killer took his time.
the girl stood in front of her door looking for keys.
the killer was still standing at the foot of the stairs. listening to the sounds of her opening her bag, her hand rummaging through her things and finally her keys clinking between her fingers.
i felt his calmness.
he walked up quietly.
the girl was just about to close the door when she saw him.
in the realm of this dream, when one is in danger one has to ring the bell of one’s house. that was what the girl did but because she didn’t want the man to get into her house she closed the door at the same time.
the girl’s body was cut in half—her torso was outside with her right hand pushing the bell while her waist down was behind the door.
her face was stupidly frightened.
i was with my boyfriend on a hill at a mediterranean bay. busy taking pictures of local tourists and us. he used a polaroid slr camera. i loved the camera so much that i wanted to have one of my own. so i went to a camera shop and bought a new one for $8008 using my credit card. we took pictures again and felt really pleased about the results.
however, we weren’t there only for taking pictures. we were to distribute questionnaires about the killer. about how he had been a liar. but we’ve deciphered the pattern. (this made so much sense in the dream) and since we took so much time enjoying the view, we discovered that we were already a couple of hours late for the trial. my boyfriend and i took off immediately. we were in a very joyful mood.