i found a dead woman in my brother’s bathroom. i tried to call for help, the police & taxi company. while waiting for them to come, my sister in law came & tried to clean the body. i was so angry & called her stupid but she didn’t stop.
of seeing you behind my tears
you stood glossed in front of me.
like an antique.
and everything else just stopped.
like almost dead.
you stood blurred in front of me.
like a shadow.
like a demon.
and the rest just faded away.
like a small feather.
like almost gone.
21 january 2001
“bagaimana sembuh dari asmara, kecuali dengan perang?” (centhini – kekasih yang tersembunyi, hal. 31)
we – M, D and i – were reading poems to each other. each sounded like a masterpiece. and we were ecstatic.
i was having dinner with a few friends who didn’t exist in real life in a ground floor flat with a wide window looking to the garden. two of them were couples. the bell rang and the girl went to the door. the boy was suspicious. i now can’t remember whether the guest was male or female but it was somebody whom the boy felt jealous of.
i and another set of friends went to the graves of two deceased friends. but they were no gravesite. they were buried in a corner in an empty dilapidated house. we drew two rectangles with a colored chalk – one is taller than the other – and damaged the floor within. we did a short chant and a friend of mine even walked on what’s supposed to be the heads. in just a short while, we saw movements from below the earth. the dead woke up like they had only been sleeping. everyone let out a satisfied cheer.
i needed to do the groceries and wanted to take the car although i couldn’t drive.
my nephew kept bugging me.
i found the body of my dead grandma in the living room of the house across the street.