i don’t think the sun ever fell for me that day.
i remember the sun was setting the day i first smoked. we hid behind the water tank and i thought the ivy curled around its corroded poles never looked as pretty. i remember how the basketball court next to where we sat seemed as serene as a swimming pool and the damp walls glowed pink and orange and your shirt smelled like cloves and your eyes flickered every time you flicked your jonkoping matchstick. yes, you were already a chainsmoker and you chuckled when i choked. but i best remember feeling like i had acquired all the wisdom i needed for life after our p.e. teacher made us run like deer with his shrilling whistle and we threw our cigarette butts like scholars’ hats and you were rooting for me all the way.