say

leaves are rustling with your hair when you look through the window, vines curl up your back telling you stories of dissipating days and dreams,

 
you wait for him to say
to say


           you wait

           for things
           not to happen

for a kiss that leads to no more
for hands to let go
for words to not be said
for teardrops to fall from the brink of her nose
for the night to end
for boredom and sleep
for every failure to rest and sink in

          and never be forgotten


you wait for them to stay
to stay.

first draft of this poem had been recited here

untitled

what did we leave behind but silence

tracks
of happiness
fluttering

why were the books lying face down why were cigarette dusts piling up between the flower pots why were the bus seats so warm why
nobody will ever
wonder

breathe into my mouth i’ll break
                     into millions of whispers

and we’ll be gone before the first teardrop hits the ground

what is nice

i

have

no

idea

i

have

none

 

what is nice

 

when

no

thing

surprises

no

more

 

what is nice

 

our eyes

gleam

with

a

secret

as

frail

as

a

good

night

kiss

barely

touching

the

lips

 

what is nice

 

spell

that

word

 

what is nice

 

i’ll

probably

end

up

in

your

writing

just

like

you

in

mine

 

what is nice

 

must

not

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

end.


26 june 2008

when edophilia lit me a cigarette.

the day i first smoked

i remember the sun was setting the day i first smoked. we hid behind the water tank and i thought the ivy curled around its corroded poles never looked as pretty. i remember how the basketball court next to where we sat seemed as serene as a swimming pool and the damp walls glowed pink and orange and your shirt smelled like cloves and your eyes flickered every time you flicked your jonkoping matchstick. yes, you were already a chainsmoker and you chuckled when i choked. but i best remember feeling like i had acquired all the wisdom i needed for life after our p.e. teacher made us run like deer with his shrilling whistle and we threw our cigarette butts like scholars’ hats and you were rooting for me all the way.

i don’t think the sun ever fell for me that day.